Let's face it, we all know
what the GTA franchise is about. From the first bird's eye view
game back in '97 to Vice City, we've all come to expect three things:
violence against mankind, sex with prostitutes, and vehicular homicide.
And I'm happy to announce that all three have returned, bigger and
badder than ever, in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. To go along
with the theme of the game, this review will be peppered with potty-mouthed
Our hero in the game is
CJ, and he f**ks sh*t up!!!
After 5 years in Liberty
City, CJ has returned to his hometown of Orange Grove in sunny San
Andreas. But before he can get back to his hood, he is kidnapped
and blackmailed by the local corrupt cop Tenpenny (voiced by the
bad mutha'f'er himself Samuel L. Jackson). After this opening cut
scene, CJ's basically Tenpenny's errand boy for the rest of the
game, running missions for him across the state, while building
up his own reputation in the cities of Los Santos, San Fierro, and
Las Venturas. Along the way he meets some shady characters who he'll
either befriend, murder, or befriend then murder.
The missions in this game
are a lot more varied than its predecessors. Although you'll still
be driving and killing people for the majority of the game, you'll
also have the pleasure of catching a suicidal rapper with a pick-up
truck. The biggest complaint of all the GTA games is that your guy
can't swim. Rockstar made sure the bitching stopped with this one
by allowing CJ to swim for business or pleasure, meaning no more
instant death when you hit the water.
Aside from the main storyline,
there is also a gangload of side missions and mini games that are
makes this game one of my all-time picks. My favorite is the triathalon,
held every weekend once you've attained certain levels in different
skills. Also there are street races you can compete in for cash
and prizes. There's also a bevy of vechicles you can jack, whether
it's land, sea, or air.
The replay value for this
game is off the charts. When I first got my hands on it, I spent
about an hour riding my bike around the countryside, doing bunny
hops over rocks and insane stunt jumps. There is so much to explore
in the game that even after finishing the story, I'm still finding
places that I had missed. There's just so much to explore.
If you don't have this
game, you could wait until it becomes a $19.99 greatest hit or buy
it for the XBOX when it comes out later this year. Either way, this
game will make all your wildest dreams come true.
We've got politicians
bitching about this game all the time, saying how it'll turn a kid
into a psychopath after playing it.