Let's face it, we all know what the GTA franchise is about. From the first bird's eye view game back in '97 to Vice City, we've all come to expect three things: violence against mankind, sex with prostitutes, and vehicular homicide. And I'm happy to announce that all three have returned, bigger and badder than ever, in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. To go along with the theme of the game, this review will be peppered with potty-mouthed language. Beware.

Our hero in the game is CJ, and he f**ks sh*t up!!!

After 5 years in Liberty City, CJ has returned to his hometown of Orange Grove in sunny San Andreas. But before he can get back to his hood, he is kidnapped and blackmailed by the local corrupt cop Tenpenny (voiced by the bad mutha'f'er himself Samuel L. Jackson). After this opening cut scene, CJ's basically Tenpenny's errand boy for the rest of the game, running missions for him across the state, while building up his own reputation in the cities of Los Santos, San Fierro, and Las Venturas. Along the way he meets some shady characters who he'll either befriend, murder, or befriend then murder.

The missions in this game are a lot more varied than its predecessors. Although you'll still be driving and killing people for the majority of the game, you'll also have the pleasure of catching a suicidal rapper with a pick-up truck. The biggest complaint of all the GTA games is that your guy can't swim. Rockstar made sure the bitching stopped with this one by allowing CJ to swim for business or pleasure, meaning no more instant death when you hit the water.

Aside from the main storyline, there is also a gangload of side missions and mini games that are makes this game one of my all-time picks. My favorite is the triathalon, held every weekend once you've attained certain levels in different skills. Also there are street races you can compete in for cash and prizes. There's also a bevy of vechicles you can jack, whether it's land, sea, or air.

The replay value for this game is off the charts. When I first got my hands on it, I spent about an hour riding my bike around the countryside, doing bunny hops over rocks and insane stunt jumps. There is so much to explore in the game that even after finishing the story, I'm still finding places that I had missed. There's just so much to explore.

If you don't have this game, you could wait until it becomes a $19.99 greatest hit or buy it for the XBOX when it comes out later this year. Either way, this game will make all your wildest dreams come true.

                                                                                           -Ghost Writer

We've got politicians bitching about this game all the time, saying how it'll turn a kid into a psychopath after playing it.